Nurture Your Child

I don’t know if he knew what all the fuss was about, but we have documented it and by the time he is old enough to know, he will know…

We had a very well-attended birthday party for Ryan yesterday, even though today is his “real” birthday. One thing I must say; if you don’t have family and/or friends to help out, a kid’s party is VERY tough to pull off. Even with many pairs of hands helping us out, it was a major battle. The usual things like forgetting to cut the fruits we bought for the party, not offering beer and wine to some adults who might have liked a sip… stuff that happens when you are busy looking out for the children’s safety and minding the other things that are going on. Now I understand why some parents just “outsource” all the work and hold parties at commercial joints such as Chuck E. Cheese’s or Legoland… well, when the kids are older and know how to enjoy those locales, it could be really fun for them.

Yesterday’s BBQ at the community pool was the first time all the meat we prepared was finished. Not only was it finished, I suspect some people went away hungry… so next time we will have double the amount Many friends commented on the large scale of the party, as we had arts and crafts for the kids, a bubble machine (check this out at Costco), BBQ, Pinata, Cake Smashing (by the birthday boy), Dance Dance Revolution on XBOX360, as well as Guitar HeroII on a separate XBOX360… we all had fun, including the grown up kids… the only thing was the weather was too cool for swimming or frolicking in the blow-up seahorse pool we bought specially for the occasion. We figured we would have to use it some time soon for another party… hopefully hosted by somebody else… I think I am partied out for a few months yet…

We used to have people come over for food, and thought that was a party… yesterday’s “event” was a real party. All the guests were also super nice and didn’t mind that we didn’t have the food out on time, and the cleanup was really quick with so many people helping out. I think it was really nice to the point where people were coming up to me asking for tasks, and we had no more… hehe

I was horrified (and so was my friend) to learn that the Health Insurance coverage he purchased at Costco does not cover pregnancy. His wife is six weeks pregnant, and it is really distressing, as we think of pregnancy as part of health coverage.

SO… before you sign on the dotted line to buy your health insurance policy, check again to make sure it covers pregnancy. Of course, this is for people who plan to have kids…

Yesterday we were out shopping for Ryan’s birthday presents and stopped at In-N-Out Burger for a quick lunch. He was very friendly with other diners, as usual, and made many new fans…

That’s when Ryan had his first taste of French Fries. He loved it. He only has 8 teeth at the front, so he has developed a system to “chew” with his front teeth. He has his mother’s good habit of chewing with his mouth closed too, which is nice.

Many people tell us that when baby approaches two years of age, he will exhibit bad behavior, and how he is dealt with will determine his future development (nasty or nice?)…

There must be a better explanation than just “terrible twos”, and the shrug of the shoulder to say that you just have to “get through” this. Perhaps baby is just beginning to realize the cause/effect of his actions? Let’s see… if I cry, I get fed… hmm… I knew that long ago… how about try throwing this feeding bottle at that large expanse of bright flashing images (aka TV screen)? What happens then? Uh-oh… they don’t seem like happy campers; go to Plan B… start wailing…

When our baby was born, a good friend’s children wanted to give him a gift, so we asked the 7 and 10 year olds to bring us their best drawing for baby.

The younger child brought a nice geometric drawing with bright colors, and the 10-year-old brought him a comic book which he “published” himself. He was the CEO of his own comic book company, and quite amazingly, the comic book was really detailed and had a storyline, etc. I flipped through the first two pages, then set it down on our coffee table thinking “nice…”.

A few days later, a family friend came by and commented on the comic book. We told him that’s Alex’s gift for our baby. He flipped through the booklet, and a few minutes later, burst out laughing. He showed us one page near the end, which was an advertisement for deodorant… Alex had thought of everything, including Advertisements… his dad told us he was even selling these hand-made one-of-a-kind comic books to his classmates for a quarter each.

This just illustrates the creativity that kids display continually, which is usually unexpected, and the joy the they must bring to all they touch.

At about 5 months into her pregnancy, my wife and I got hooked on this game called Zuma, and we were sitting side by side at our respective computers, egging each other on, challenging each other to see who got the higher score, the faster time, you know, the usual things regular geek couples do together. (My wife completed all the Zuma levels, while I languished at level 12… I who consider myself a gamer lost to my lady…) I would not recommend getting your hormonal, tired, pregnant spouse hooked on anything (don’t get me started on the way she watches Chinese Serials) because pulling all-nighters on Friday and Saturday (playing games, watching DVDs, etc) is not too healthy.

Well, I ramble, but back to the point… at about the 7th month into her pregnancy, baby started to kick whenever mom got excited at the game. It got to the point where she decided to quit playing Zuma because she was afraid the baby didn’t like it because he was kicking violently. Those familiar with the Zuma game will know the kind of sound effects it employs, and it can be quite loud…

As a result, the person responsible for our Zuma addiction (she gave us the game) christianed our unborn child “ZuZu” because mommy was playing Zuma while he was growing in the womb, and we all kept joking that the first sound he makes at birth would not be the usual crying sounds, but “ZUMA!”…

So you see, our baby kept mommy from playing her favorite computer game, as do most babies growing in the wombs of geek couples, so they end up taking revenge on the kid after he is born… “no video games because I say so”… hehe

Bottles? Wassup with that?? Well, if you don’t believe me, try washing bottles while exhausted… no, try assembling those with multiple tiny parts. Simple is great; simple and well designed is even better.

For those of you “newbies” out there, trust me; get either the Avent system or Dr Brown’s and don’t look back.

Also, remember to change the nipples every few months. There is a reason they have the “flow” or “months” labels for nipples. Baby will refuse to feed if the flow is too slow, and you will find he doesn’t finish as much milk as he used to (that is usually a great sign that the flow is too slow). That was our experience. Also, the nipples will harden (doesn’t matter if you use latex or silicon, they all harden with use) and crack if used for too long. In our experience, that “too long” is about 3 to 4 months.

After you get past 6 months, you would be using the “Stage 4″ or “6+ months” nipples already, so what happens near 12 months, when baby again feels tired feeding from nipples that are too “slow”? The solution is not to use old nipples and cut them (remember, they harden and crack after a few months), but to buy the 6+months nipples and try to follow the pre-cut holes when enlarging. In our case, we used the Avent 6+months nipples, which have 4 pre-drilled holes for milk flow, which was getting tedious for baby. I used a clean cuticle scissor, put the two points into opposite holes, and cut a cross in the nipple. Using the pre-cut holes as the termination points prevents the cut from extending beyond the tip of the nipple. If you try cutting a 0months or 3+months nipple in a cross pattern, the silicon will tear beyond your cuts, and leave the nipple unusable.

We haven’t gone to the sipping cups yet (now he is close to 1 year) because the bottle is still perhaps the most convenient.

Being an excited father, I went out and bought the “best” child safety seat I could find, meaning it cost almost US$300… it had Side Impact Protection, the latest color for the year (2006), etc etc. Then 9 months later, baby is too big to fit comfortably into this super seat… wasted money? Still arguable, but I had really great peace of mind during those 9 months. For those interested to chime in, I got the Peg Perego Primo Viaggio. Great features, very well built, excellent experience, but again, short-lived use.

In shopping for my “next” seat, I found myself looking at stuff I “could have” bought: those reversible car seats that face backward for infants, and then face forward for toddlers. Many of them also include attachments that help ensure comfort and safety for infants, and then you remove those headrests, etc as they grow bigger. Many of my friends use the Britax Marathon, but I found that Cosco also makes a few great models, and I got the Alpha-Omega 3-stage reversible from Babies ‘R’ Us. The Cosco seat is almost half the price of the Britax, and is touted as “the only car seat you will ever need”. You can read more about it at http://products.howstuffworks.com/cosco-alpha-omega-3-stage-car-seat-02-531-review.htm

The one “fantastic” must-have feature for infant car seats, which till today comforts me for having bought that expensive thing, is that these “infant-only” seats are easily removable and then easily secured onto their bases. This is definitely a plus because again, young babies tend to be sleeping more, and trying to buckle and unbuckle them without waking them? Good luck…

That’s just my own experience, and you may have your own to share with everyone. Chime in.

One of my buddies asked me if I had my wish, what I would want for my newborn baby. Of course the first thing that came to mind was, a brand new SUV for him to ride around in… but since he wasn’t Bill Gates, I asked for a really great Stroller. One that could “reverse” ie baby faces you, or faces forward when you push the stroller. Another criteria was the ablility to fully recline (yes, like those overpriced 1st class cabin seats).

Searching high and low in Retail and on the Web, we finally settled on the Peg Perego Venezia stroller, which is not the cheapest stroller, but it was not too extravagant either. The wheels are not too small (just as you need larger wheels on vehicles for a smoother ride, so too your baby will benefit from larger wheels), and it has all the right features. The weight is just “ok” because with the lighter models such as the Pliko and Aria (also from Peg Perego), you do not have reversible handles (baby facing you when really young, then facing forward when older), nor do they go flat for really young babies that sleep most of the time…

Funny thing you may notice is, once baby is old enough to see “far” objects, he would refuse to sit facing backwards on your walks…

Mother’s milk is best for baby. Period. Full Stop. Well, that deserves some elaboration.

Mother’s milk contains antibodies which help to protect baby in his most fragile stage of life. He is coming out of a water-cushioned, double-buffered, triple-covered, perpetually warm place into the realm of germs and viruses.

More importantly, mother’s milk is tuned to baby’s needs. What do I mean by that? Well, at birth, did you know that their stomach is just the size of a small marble? We learned that in Lamaze class, but then in the excitement and exhaustion after his birth, we sort of forgot… that first night after his birth, we kept him in the post-natal room with us, but exhaustion took over (try panicking over baby poop with a few hours of exhausted slumber) and we asked the nurses to take him to the nursery the second night. We also told them that my wife’s milk didn’t seem to be flowing yet and we were worried he would be hungry… error, error, error… why? Read on…

The morning of the 3rd day, they brought baby back, and cheerfully informed us that he took two ounces of formula early that morning… 10 minutes later, he threw up for the first time, and that’s when I remembered the size of the stomach for newborns… two sips would fill his stomach, two ounces would fill him up to his ears…

For those of us worried that “baby is not eating” that first couple of days (you have to make sure he nurses, as the “pre-flow” milk is most beneficial to baby), don’t worry because the doctor later pointed out to me that the baby’s whole body is full of Amniotic Fluid (that’s the liquid he was swimming in for 9 months), which is very nutritious. For those interested, that is also why newborns have SOO MUCH poop… the digested Amoniotic Fluid is coming through… all 9 months (? or however many months he has been swallowing that stuff)…

So to recap: milk flow will be slow at the start, and keep pace with baby’s needs. The more he suckles, the more milk will be produced. Take the effort to attend a breastfeeding class before leaving the hospital as both mother and child will benefit greatly from instruction. You may eventually find the right procedure (I would imagine that as mammals, it comes naturally), or even stumble across kind folk who know the cure for chapped nipples, etc, but why suffer when there are simple, concise instructions you can use immediately?